The Advent Conspiracy

Here's the funny thing. The Lord has been working on me this week. He has been working on my ability to be thankful and my ability to give away what I don't think that I have. Then to give it all away. As a good friend says, "That the Lord would use all of me until He has taken it all."

On four occasions this past week I attempted to blog. Every time for one reason or another the post was lost either by my computer or in cyber land. I wrote a very long post on Jehoshaphat. This is an amazing story of how in the midst of our greatest fears of being abandoned the Lord takes care of us. How? By being thankful. The people are attacked. They cry out to the Lord. He answers and says that He will come through. I will fight the battle He says. Then the people wait. They thank the Lord that He will show up. He does and the people are taken care of in amazing ways by the Living God. I recommend checking out the whole story for yourself in
2 Chronicles 20. Over and again I have chewed on this scripture and all that it means in my own life.

I wrote a passage on reaching out to the city and being thankful for what we have. Why is it that so many want to help during the holidays, forgetting that there are those that are lonely, hungry, lost and in need on all of the days of the year also?

Yesterday, I wrote how at Walmart I watched as a seven year old little girl made faces at herself in the mirror at the jewelry counter. Her Mom had just been released from jail the day before. There were so many things that she struggles with and stands in need of, yet, at the end of it all she is just a little girl.

The needs of the children I spend each day with overwhelm me. There are those who panic each day for they wonder if dinner will or will not be on the table. Others smell of grime as their family has no running water. Daily they wash up in the sink at school. Holes in their clothes and matted down hair plague them. Drunken parents who sleep on the side of the street, live as prostitutes or sell pain killers to their neighbors as a way to make rent that month. When Christ looks out, He cries in pain from the love that breaks His heart for each weary soul.

Then today a friend of mine sent me this link. It is called the "Advent Conspiracy." This is an organization totally and completely focused on getting back to Christ at Christmas. I understood that as all my entries have been lost, this is what I needed to say. They write: "It starts with Jesus. It ends with Jesus. This is the holistic approach God had in mind for Christmas. It’s a season where we are called to put down our burdens and lift a song up to our God. It’s a season where love wins, peace reigns, and a king is celebrated with each breath. It’s the party of the year. Entering the story of advent means entering this season with an overwhelming passion to worship Jesus to the fullest."

Their challenge is just the thing that the Lord has been reminding me of over the past week. As I poured out my heart many responded with prayers and love. Tired of going it alone, I called for help. The heart of Christmas is not gifts, it is relationship. That is their passion to get back to the miracle of Christmas and spread it around. To spend less and give it away.

One of the hardest parts of feeling in need around the holidays is looking at your children and thinking that you can't really give your kids presents. There won't be an awful lot under the tree this year. You know the "Christian" thing to say, but you want to spoil them a little. In my woeful state I know that really it means that my hubby and I can't really give away what we don't have in store bought presents. To each other or friends and family. I love to give away presents and it was hurting to not be able to do this. Then this simple video reminded me that at the end of the day, time spent is what brings the memories. Being together with those I love is what really matters. There is family and friends and the city that I love. Jesus in the center of it all matters. Thanks for loving me. I am so undeserving.

Urban Youth Impact will be giving away 5,000 toys to the families in this community. But what warms my heart is that we are starting with the families that we know and love. We are meeting a very real need to create memories. It is less about the toys and more about the touch.
You can check out the info, if you would like to give at our website by clicking here

More so be challenged and inspired to be thankful and remember by watching the video and then checking out their website by clicking here. Together may we conspire to be reminded why we celebrate:

Water Torture

My husband John and I call it "Water Torture . " That is the form of torture that took place when the enemy tied you up and stuck you under a slow drip of water with no way to move . At first it doesn't seem as if things are "that bad . " You can just lie there and deal with a little water right? Nope after several hours of this you are ready to SCREAM . The sound of the dripping water, the anticipation of it dripping on you, the puddle that you are now lieing in makes you want to just die, literally . That is how the enemy breaks you .

Well, this is where this little band of missionaries finds themselves right now . In the middle of water torture . I know that we are supposed to be strong . I know that we are supposed to go to the Lord in prayer and just believe . I know know that the stuff that is happening is not as bad as what others endure . SO what happens? You go on by yourself and you don't ask for help . What we have realized is that this is just plain old pride . You start off very noble not wanting to share because well "it's not that bad . " The truth is when all the little things start to stack up, it becomes one big stinky pile . We need to get a clue and ask for prayer more regularly . It needs to stop being when the spiral heads down that we reach out . So please help us . Prayer is powerful . The body drawing together is powerful . We need you . We admit it, lay down our pride we need some help .

If it can break in our household it has . My laptop died a hardened death a couple of weeks ago . This is a huge need to what I do for work . Even more disheartening I have been writing a book for a while now and had not backed it up recently . Therefore, I am starting over in some places . Both our house phone and both cell phones are broken . Both of our cars need fixing and we woke up this morning to a flat tire on one . The dryer is broken . John has been walking around with one of the arms of his glasses glued on for months and they need to be replaced . My glasses need to be replaced . I have been having severe dental problems and am heading to the dentist next week . That has been a whole debacle on its own . I need a root canal and a cap replaced . John fell this weekend and seriously hurt his knee (Thankfully he is on the mend :>) The DVD player broke on Saturday . I have been sick on and off for months . Both of my parents have been very ill .

The ministry is financially unstable do to the times . Many of us are in this same position. I believe that we are under attack. Satan is attempting to render us broken and ineffective. Ministries aroung the country are financially destitute. Marriages, finances, our kids are all under attack. Enough!!

It has honeslty gotten to a point when something goes wrong that our response is, "Of course . . . " The list continues on and on . . .

Now are we the worse off? No . Even as I write this I know of friends and family that are in worse situations than we are. There has just been a lot of struggles as of late and we have felt the enemy sucking our joy . The reality you can't make yourself feel better. You can only fall on your face before the Lord. I didn't even want to post this. I feel stupid exposing it for the world to see. A friend of mine suggested it and so I am reaching out.

We are clinging to the last piece of wood from the shipwreck . We are thankful for that piece . We are not drowning . The Lord does take care of us- we just need some help . We need the body . We need you . Please remember us in your prayers . It always helps everytime .

Mentors

At "The Leadership Academy" at UYI our full time staff that works with the children are called "mentors." I am afraid with where I am at this week that my discouragement has left me with more wanting to hide in a hole than write on the blog. So I thought that I would share this video with you. Every Friday the children put together a video as part of a weekly project. This is a 3 minute documentary on what we really do every day... Oh if you are wondering, yes we wear uniforms every day and the "zones" are our discipline system...Hope it makes you laugh....

Failure...

Lately, I have felt like a huge failure. On every side. If there is one thing that I can honestly say that I struggle with it is that it matters, really matters that I do what I do.

Defeated, really that is a better way to describe it or maybe it is just that my world has been shrinking in on me. Today, I have not platitudes, no trite sayings. There is no "Christianese" in my vocabulary at this moment.

As I glanced over the words of 2 Corinthinians 4. I realized that I feel just the opposite of all that it says:

"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.
The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak,
because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence.
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Lately, I have lost heart. Twice in this passage Paul talks about how He has not lost heart. However, if there is one way to put how I have felt lately, it has been like this. I have felt, crushed, abandoned and destroyed.

Even up until this morning I might have admitted that it was those "light and momentary" toubles that were weighing me down. I could have said that it was that pretty much anything that could break has in my house. That I should have more faith about my finances but I don't. I could have said that it was that I felt my dreams squashed recently in a myriad of ways. I even could have told you that I wake up daily with the overwhelming realization that I am a clay jar with a huge broken chunk out of it. Most of the time I feel as if the world is around my pointing, laughing or angrily accusing that broken piece of me. Yes, I even could have said that I was wallowing in my own mirey pit of despair.

Yet, now I see that really I have had my eyes on the temporary. But, it is not the "stuff" that really weighs me down. That is just easy to put my finger on. More so it is that I have felt like my light just doesn't shine bright enough. What do you do when you find out that a 9 year old child has been being repeatedly raped for at least a year and a half by a 16 year old? Angry you don't really know who to blame. How could something so horrific happen to a child? What causes another child to do such a thing? You stop to bring a homeless man a cold drink of water and He rejects it. He doesn't want your food or your water, he wants to feed his addiction. He needs the hole in his heart to be filled with a Savior. Yet, he rejects that too. When you do a Bible study on Psalm 139 and you get to the verse about God's protection, "He hems me in" are the words that it speaks. Then all the children in the room break out into a discussion about whether or not God can keep them safe. You are honest. You can't promise bad things won't happen anymore. You tell them that there is someone who hears their cry, who offers hope. In the deepest part of your heart thought you wan to be able to promise that the abuse, rage, neglect and hunger will stop. You find out repeadtedly that the children that you spend time with are hurting in ways that you can not fix. Day after day I want to scream. I want to rant. I want to understand why as a church we are willing to make our President our Savior and forget who the Messiah really is. I want to understand why we don't draw together as a "body" and take responsibility for each other and the widows and the orphans like we are called to? I am angry. I am torn. I am wrongly focused.

The only way to not lose heart is to keep my eyes on the eternal. Today and here and this earth there will always be suffering. "When we face trials of many kinds," we are told in James. Not if and there is no such thing as one trial that is more noble than another. I can't protect, but Christ can. It is because of His mercy that I am in this ministry. I can preach the "Word" without distorting it. I don't need to puff it up or water it down. He will speak for himself. I am always dying and that is the most vital part. Truly, it is His light that must shine, because mine carries no warmth. All those things I can get my hands on will slip through my fingers. But the unseen things, these are the things that I must cling to. This is the hope to offer. This is what life really looks like. If I am preaching me, I will always feel like I have no anwers. For, I have no answers. I am so thankful that I know my God intimately, and He does. I am not to preach in my own understanding, but His. Regaining "heart" means letting go. I must remember, this earth is not the point.

Rest

I have been reading a lot about the Lord's rest lately. My thoughts have been anxious and my temperment antsy. I have not been kind in many ways. All of the burdens of the world have really bogged me down... Struggling up hill with trust, this is the passage that I keep coming back to.

Hebrews 4 tells us:

"For all who enter into God's rest will find rest from their labors, just as God rested after creating the world.Let us do our best to enter that place of rest. For anyone who disobeys God, as the people of Israel did, will fall.For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done.That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin.So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it."

More on this later....

Joey...

In the world of the inner city we like to say that we are raising up "indigenous leaders."  These are the "insiders" from the community who have grown up there and it has always been their "hood."  

I like to often say that while indigenous leaders are awesome I would rather have a leader who happens to be indigenous.  What do I mean  by this??

This is a person whose life has been totally and completely transformed by Jesus.  Heart change is so full that they are not a "product of the streets."  Instead they are a child of the King...

SO, I would like to share with you the story of one of my favorite staff people....

What will our feet look like???

"For, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:13

 Every day thousands rush in and out of the city on their way here and there. All the while the broken and hurting lie beaten and bruised by the side of the road, wondering, "Will anyone come for me?" The question is will we stop and stare or will we stop at all?  Can we come to the back alley with a cool drink of water and bandages for their sores? 

Really, I think we have dig into our own souls and decides with whose eyes will we see?  Will we look on the outward dust and dirt or will we witness the city for the people?  How can someone know that there is hope unless we have stopped to tell them? Jesus

Are we willing to allow our feet to get a little muddy?

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns! Isaiah 52:7

Can we be the ones to go above and beyond to bring the "good news of peace?"  Has the thought ever occurred that the destitute need to hear?  How can they know if they have never heard? How can they be transformed if the truth has never filled in all the empty gaps?

I would like to share something with you. If you have never understood me, I sob every time I hear this. Will you stop and watch for the next few moments? I believe this song really captures my heart... then will you too have beautiful feet???