Systems...

I am a systematic thinker. I like breaking the "how" and "why" of doing something into little tiny chunks. One of my favorite questions that I ask others is, "How do you eat an elephant?" Ready, wait for it, wait for it..."One bite at at time." This is especially my passion when it comes to relational ministry in the city. Come talk to me for 2 minutes. It will quickly turn into 20 as I map things out for you.

So then you might imagine that one of my greatest frustrations for the last 13 years has been how do we see change within the heart of the city and the people who live here. In our programs we have a method for disciplining, a method for keeping order, and a method for doing programming. There is a particular way and reasoning behind why we do most things. Yet, the character issues remain the same.

Yet, my mind keeps click clacking in an attempt to figure it out. How do we see a change from the inside out? Why is it that some people just "get it," while others do not? Why do some follow Jesus with their whole self? What I mean is those who come to understand how high and wide and deep the love of Christ is. Those who comprehend that going it alone is useless. Putting the Lord in charge is the only thing that really changes anything.

After analyzing my heart I have come to see that what I am looking for is a movie to be made about my life. Now that you think I am a self centered ego maniac, let me explain. It really has nothing to do with me. I don't care if I am famous. I am looking to see the radical change that we see in the movies. You know what I am talking about. They are those inspirational movies that show true change in the heart of the city or among the poor or in the troubled and downcast child. In my little system focused mind I flit from method to method. Alright, it is about being focused, and standing tall. I must be a better more focused more creative teacher or principal. Maybe I could get them all to write their feelings out in a journal. No wait, if I can get them to pull together and play football, no swim, no play basketball. They need to learn to debate. They need to learn to ballroom dance. It's about taking the hip hip dance from the streets to the stage. It's about exposing their talent. They need to sing, no be in a drum line. Wait, maybe if they joined the military or stood up to "the man." Ummm, does this make me the man? I don't know if I can really contemplate that one too deeply. I've got it. They need to be a professional hip hop artist. Is it about me or them? I am confused. Who needs to change? Who needs to stay and stand? Wait.  They can win the spelling bee.

Yep, I watch them all the moment they hit the big screen or little screen for that matter. I am inspired. Every life that was touched. I cry, I clench my fists and vow I will never ever leave them. But, I am learning slowly but surely that because it worked for one, it does not work for all. It is not about us or them, it is about Christ.

The questions more acurately, is how do we convince someone to let the Lord inside? "I can't do anything at all. but whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me and not without results. For I have worked harder than all the other apostles, yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace." 1 Cor. 15:10 Here is what I see. It is not about the formula. It is about preaching the truth. That way it doesn't matter who preaches it. It is about Christ and his truth preached. Paul contemplated these same issues here in 1 Cor. 15. We must be willing to really walk life with those who doubt. 

I think a system would be easier. The thing I always forget about those movies is that it is several months or even years reduced to somewhere between 90 minutes to 2 hours.  We see 30 seconds of conflict resolved in a breath.  There isn't the hours and days of heartbreak of wanting to really give up and walk away.  We see a dose of issues, covered by a multitude of resolution.  A method completes a task and is done with it. No it doesn't have to take the time to come back again and again and again and again to walk with the hurting who lash out at you as you try to love them.

It is time to let go of this system.  I have to preach Jesus and then hold a hand.  It is up to the Holy Spirit to make a change. I can't change anyone.  I can only show His love.....