I can't make that promise....

"You can't make that promise to me."  A group of fifth grade girls and I were reading Psalm 139. I wanted them to understand how much Christ loves us. He has been thinking about us since the start of time. He knew us before we were even a thought to our mother.

We had gotten to the part of the psalm in

verse 5 that  talks of God's protection. It says: "You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." or as it stated in the NIRV  "You are all around me. You are behind me and in front of me. You hold me in your power." 

I went on to explain how the Lord cares for us so much that he wants to keep us safe. However, instead of this bringing comfort, several of the girls began to break apart. "I have tried to pray to God, he ignores my prayers."  "You can't promise that nothing bad will happen to me." "You can't promise I won't get jumped, or beat, or hurt or shot." The tears began to roll down cheeks now as they were  grappling with this issue.

"No, I can't make that promise," I admitted.  "I can't tell you that the things of this world will not touch you."  HOWEVER, we are promised hope and peace. In the middle of it all Jesus offers us a peace that we can't even begin to understand.  The rest of the psalm faded away as I explained that God does hear her prayers. Another girl in the group said, "Well, it's OK my Pastor told me that God is so busy he can't hear all of our prayers at once."  I wanted scream. In my heart I was seething. What kind of comfort does that bring?

Instead I responded with. "God is so big he does hear our prayers at the same time."  The book of psalms is filled with the words, "Oh, God hear my cry. Listen to me." Just a couple of chapters from now in Psalm 143:1 it says: "Lord, hear my prayer. Listen to my cry for your favor. You are faithful and right. Come and help me."  This is for everyone. All the time. At the same time.  The hard thing to understand is that often the Lord doesn't answer our prayers the way we think  he should, or the way that we want him to.  But, he is listening and He will answer and He wants what is best for us."

I stumbled through my explanations if I am honest.  I felt so inadequate to explain things I myself don't understand. Isn't it righteous to pray and ask God to stop abuse that is not our fault? How can you explain to a child that trials are supposed to come?

A couple of weeks later the same group of girls asked if God would still love you if you have been raped.  During prayer time they wanted to know if we could pray for those who have been sexually abused or raped. Ten and 11 year old girls should not know what the full extent of those words mean.

So you can imagine how I felt the other day as I heard the words to this song: "Keep You Safe." By JJ Heller. If you do not know JJ is a female, Christian, folk singer.  Knowing that she recently had a baby the first thoughts that came to mind was a mother singing to her child.

"Quiet your heart

It's just a dream

Go back to sleep

I'll be right here

I'll stay awake

As long as you need me

To slay all the dragons

And keep out the monsters

I'm watching over you

My love is a light

Driving away all of your fear

So don't be afraid

Remember I made a promise to keep you safe

You'll have your own battles to fight

When you are older

You'll find yourself frozen inside

But always remember...

If you feel alone facing the giants

And you don't know what to do...

My love is a light

Driving away all of your fear

So don't be afraid

Remember I made a promise to keep you...

Safe

My love is a light

Driving away all of your fear

So don't be afraid

Remember I made a promise to keep you safe."

In this world I can not handle these words. They just clog my heart. This community that we walk in does not make this promise. The streets over come them. The bullies are never ending. Their own parents often are perpetrators of the crime against their safety.  

The downside of deep relationship is that you get to the crust of the ugly side of the life of the city.  This year at UYI we have made more calls than ever before to the state Child and Family Services. Why? We have gotten deeper in our relationships with the students. With one full time staff person in charge of no more than 12 children a piece at any time five days a week, we hear more from the lives of our students. The "gunk" is bubbling to the surface. I love that they are talking, yet, I hate making those calls.  Is that the answer? Is being stripped of the only parent you know any better? We want to keep them safe.  But, I remember long ago one of our 13 year olds who was removed from the home of her grandmother because she was considered to old and neglectful. She then went on to three foster homes in one year. She was horribly physically abused at one and raped by  the father  of the family at another. She was finally placed back with grandma. A year of innocence lost to end up at the beginning again.  Why Lord?  My heart screams.  I do have wonderful friends who are strong followers of Christ who foster and then adopt children. My own uncle has 12 children of a variety of ages, colors, sizes and abilities. Yet, honestly, that is rare. Statistically, placing a child over the age of 3 is excruciatingly difficult.

Just this week we had to make 2 calls to "DCF."  One was for suspected sexual abuse and one for suspected physical abuse. The child of the physical abuse got a visit at school by a case worker.  Later the child showed up at program distraught.  Finally,  they admitted what had happened. "I have already been taken from my Mom twice. I can't handle this again." This child is nine.  They wanted to know if we were the ones who had made the call.  The mentor very lovingly responded, "It is my job to love you. To love you is to keep you safe. I must do whatever that means to keep you safe."

So we continue to go back and forth with what "safe" means. Mom showed up at program early that day to pick up her children. She was furious with us. We may not see those children come next week.  Was it worth the phone call? It has to be worth it. The right thing to do is rarely the easy thing to do. It is just right.

That means that we can only trust that the Lord cares enough to take care of us.  I often will tell students that our God never sleeps. He is with us always. When my own children became afraid of the dark we memorized this:

Psalm 121

"I look up to the hills. Where does my help come from?

2. My help comes from the Lord. He is the Maker of heaven and earth.

3. He won't let your foot slip. He who watches over you won't get tired.

4. In fact, he who watches over Israel won't get tired or go to sleep.

5. The LORD watches over you. The LORD is like a shade tree at your right hand.

6. The sun won't harm you during the day. The moon won't harm you during the night.

7. The LORD will keep you from every kind of harm. He will watch over your life.

8. The LORD will watch over your life no matter where you go, both now and forever."

We can never understand. We will never understand. However,  He is called to action.  The Lord is the safety that we require.  When the darkness never seems to disappear. He is that light. JJ Heller's song can only sooth when it is God softly whispering to our souls. However, in the meantime as my heart breaks I pray, "Lord, Jesus come take us home soon. Your children need to be safe."