My sister

Yesterday my only sister died.

She left no husband.

She left no children.

She could not walk.

She could not see.

She could not take care of herself physically.

She did not even talk until she was 4.

She was not a prayer warrior.

She did not read her Bible everyday.

You can not "Google" her name

She never preached a sermon.

She never traveled the world.

She barely left our own back yard.

She did not "DO" anything particularly special

She was precious to God.

She loved Jesus because he loved her first.

She was not an evangelist with her words

She was with her life.

Courtney was born 33 years ago way too early. Entering the world at barely 2 pounds no one thought she would make it. Mom had chicken pox in her first trimester of pregnancy and the doctors did not know that the baby inside had gotten the disease too.  Who knew that a simple itchy childhood disease could rack a little being so very much. As she lay in the incubator her heartbeat began and she began to grow.

As she grew the list of disabilities did also.  Thus began the life of a quiet fighter. She was born blind, with a cataract in her left eye. When she was grown this eye had to be removed and she had a glass eye.  Although she was born with 2 legs there was  no feeling in her left leg. It would not grow as there was no bone from the knee down.  It was amputated when she was 2.  There was little feeling in her left arm. As the years marched on she totally lost feeling in the left hand.  Nothing in her digestive tract acted quite right. In and out of the hospital until she was 16 when they finally performed some surgery that left her in a better place.

No one knew if she would make it. When she was born there were only 11 other people in the world to have this disorder. Currently, there are still less than 20 cases world wide.  When she turned four, she outlived everyone else.  Her whole life was a fight. We lived in our family collectively holding our breath as to whether or not she would make it every year. Then the years seemed to slip by and she got better. I think we all got to the point where we honestly believed she would outlive the rest of us.

Mentally, I always knew she was deeper than everyone else did. She was my sister. We fought. We loved. I thought everyone had a "handicapped" sister. That was just our family. Her mind never grew beyond 13 years old. It is probably why I love hanging out with kids so much. We would sit and talk of all the things a deep teen would talk of. She loved music and movies.  She loved dessert. Most of all she just loved to be near you. She loved me more than I ever deserved.

A simple faith grew inside of her.  When she was somewhere in her elementary years her teacher thought that she was suicidal. Courtney had gone to school beaming with joy. She was telling everyone who would listen, "When I get to heaven I will get a new body." My Mom called the teacher.  Courtney was not obsessed with death. She understood that one day Jesus would make her whole.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son." Rev. 21:4-7

Courtney understood that she was a child of God. She knew to whom she belonged. That was enough. Anyone who encountered her was immediately touched by the deep love of the Lord.. She is the example that Christ loves us merely because we belong to him. In all our striving just being His is enough. My sister Courtney belonged to her Savior. That is all that mattered to either of them.

For me she is the reason I am riddled with compassion. I would not be able to look out at the world and see the hurt and want to love it had it not been for her. The Lord gave her to me for this short time so I would know. Nothing I "DO" will ever matter.  It is just about loving and being loved.  This love is what compels me to be who I am.  .

Yet, I can not be selfish. Today her arms are open wide. She is twirling and dancing and running. She dreamed her whole life of this day. She spoke of it often.  She painted pictures of herself in heaven with Jesus dancing.   The colors of the sky and the streets are overtaking her. She is without the chains of this life any longer. She had begun to get tired of it being this way. She longed for more. She hungered for more.  She needed a place where the light of our Savior outshines the sun. Jesus finally needed her home with him.

One day we will dance together. She will be among the first I will be looking for in heaven. I am certain she will find me first. In the meantime this world is less bright without her.  She didn't even have to "do" anything.