The ministry of retaliation...

I once heard a great teaching on forgiveness.  We need to forgive because God told us to. Jesus said it.

""Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

He told us to pray it:

"forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us." Matthew 6:11

Why??? Not forgiving  creates bitterness and resentment. These are sins. Unresolved sin creates a wedge in our relationship with God.  The long and the short of it is that when we will not forgive then it hurts us.  We must forgive others who wrong us if we want to be close to Jesus. I don't want anything to effect that relationship.

However, it is not our natural human nature to live this way.  I heard that the first step in forgiving someone who has wronged you is to figure out the "debt" that you feel owed. For example, if you are hurt that your best friend forgot your birthday, you feel owed a birthday gift. Really, you feel that as your best friend she owes it to you to remember your birthday.  Then you are able to go on to forgive her for forgetting. 

The reality is though that it is very easy to get wrapped up in what is owed to you. Then we want to bring vengeance and retribution in the way that we have been wronged.  I see it all time in the  children of the city.  It is the ministry of retaliation.

Someone hit me, so I need to hit them back. I was pushed so I will punch.  My wallet was stolen so I will steal your ...   The funny thing is the deeper that you get into this thinking the more it grabs you. One forgets that sometimes the world is not out to get you. In taking students to events with a large number of people, I have had to explain that sometimes crowds push because they are moving forward. Everyone who bumps into them is not wanting to start a fight.  This is where the survival mentality can begin.  If everyone is against me then I need to protect myself.

Just yesterday I had a conversation with a child who had gotten punched in the eye. She was looking for compassion about her black eye.  However, when the whole story unfolded the truth was in standing in lin, when  one student had tripped and accidentally pushed her. She turned around and hit him. He then followed with a punch in  the eye. In talking to the one with the black eye, she did not understand that she could have prevented the black eye at all.

On some level I think we are all this way.  As people we get hurt. Hurt turns to anger. Anger turns to resentment.  Resentment turns to bitterness.  Really, in the beginning we were just feeling wounded and needed some healing.  When we are wronged we feel helpless. If we can not fix a situation then we want to come up with a way to fix it. That is what retaliation is all about.

Just before Jesus tells us to forgive he says this:

"Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.
If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.
Give what you have to anyone who asks you for it; and when things are taken away from you, don't try to get them back.
Do for others as you would like them to do for you.
"Do you think you deserve credit merely for loving those who love you? Even the sinners do that!
And if you do good only to those who do good to you, is that so wonderful? Even sinners do that much!
And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, what good is that? Even sinners will lend to their own kind for a full return.
"Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate." Luke 28-35

The problem is that we have a hard time defining an enemy. When a friend hurts us they are not an enemy. Yet, I would argue the moment that someone, anyone begins to agitate you in our hearts we treat them as enemies.  This is the point at which we are supposed to pray for them. We are meant to go totally beyond ourselves when we are frustrated with a person to love them like Christ does.  If my best friend forgets my birthday. I am supposed to buy her the best gift I can think of. However, if our heart attitude is still, "I'll show you," it is still that ministry of retaliation. No it needs to be because I love her so much, and make the choice to get over myself.

This is one of my hardest lessons to teach. Sometimes the person who gets punched dies deserve it. I have been in situations with friends when we have been judged merely by the color of our skin. In these moments I want to punch these people.   But, I believe that Christ tells it to us this way to remind us that truly none of us are righteous. no  not one. I am as much in danger of looking down my nose at someone as the next guy.  When I have been wronged, I want to wrong.  But, if I want to follow Jesus I must remember I can't do anything to add to his words. Sometimes we have to just do it his way.

This is one I am still working on.  I am a student teacher. However, when I see this anger turn to rage and it brings out guns and death, I know it is a lesson I must keep teaching.  Forgiveness in the end has to be a choice....